A friend who read an advance copy of Downsizing: Letting Go of Evangelicalism’s Nonessentials said, “I'm amazed that you didn't give up on the church long ago with all you went through.”
Wonderful and profound thoughts, Michelle. I wish they could be read by all the people I've met who say they won't step foot in a church because church—in the form of a particular church, a denomination or just church in general—has deeply disappointed or dismayed or offended them in some way. My church gets visited by hundreds of tourists every day, not all of whom attend church I'm sure, but they are drawn into the physical building by something and if their eyes are open, I'm sure they get a glimpse of God.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I would become a person who doesn't even, at very minimum, ATTEND a church, but here I am. Between my disillusionment and hurt, and now a nomadic lifestyle, as well, I have pretty much dropped out.
I am noting more and more that my own absence is causing me a significant amount of mental anguish. I miss the dynamic community. I miss the beauty. I miss the surge of communal worship. These things were not ever present, of course, but they were present enough for my heart to long for them. 😞
I can imagine that your nomadic lifestyle must amplify those feelings of being disconnected from embodied community - in addition to the disconnect you feel from your former church. Your longings are good and holy ones.
My mother told me long ago (when a university denied me a faculty maternity leave—the laws were different), “Institutions don’t love you; people do.” This reminded me of her words. ❤️
Wonderful and profound thoughts, Michelle. I wish they could be read by all the people I've met who say they won't step foot in a church because church—in the form of a particular church, a denomination or just church in general—has deeply disappointed or dismayed or offended them in some way. My church gets visited by hundreds of tourists every day, not all of whom attend church I'm sure, but they are drawn into the physical building by something and if their eyes are open, I'm sure they get a glimpse of God.
Beauty in this world woos us toward worship. A beautiful historic church like yours is a signpost that speaks to people's spirits.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I would become a person who doesn't even, at very minimum, ATTEND a church, but here I am. Between my disillusionment and hurt, and now a nomadic lifestyle, as well, I have pretty much dropped out.
I am noting more and more that my own absence is causing me a significant amount of mental anguish. I miss the dynamic community. I miss the beauty. I miss the surge of communal worship. These things were not ever present, of course, but they were present enough for my heart to long for them. 😞
I can imagine that your nomadic lifestyle must amplify those feelings of being disconnected from embodied community - in addition to the disconnect you feel from your former church. Your longings are good and holy ones.
The little bits of community I experience here does help. 💜
My mother told me long ago (when a university denied me a faculty maternity leave—the laws were different), “Institutions don’t love you; people do.” This reminded me of her words. ❤️