On Spiritual Downsizing
The empty office was a time capsule of the past, circa 2003. A giant fax machine perched on top of a file cabinet crammed with yellowing invoices and financial records. Cubicles were ghost towns emptied of all of the personal memorabilia belonging to the previous occupants. All that was left behind were a few aging desktop computers loaded with Windows 95 software, and desks filled with dried out pens and abandoned paper clips.
The office had once been home to a vital ministry; three people worked and served God from this space for nearly a decade. But it was no longer 2003, and I had been tasked with emptying its contents at the conclusion of the lease. The ministry continued its work, but had shifted with the times. People worked from home using laptops, and there was no longer any need for…well, almost any of it.
I was tasked with closing the office, which meant disposing of most of its contents, and moving still-relevant files and literature to a storage facility.
In the end, everything that mattered fit inside a 6’ x 10’ unit, with room to spare.
This month marks 50 years since I first began following Jesus. In addition to meaningful growth in faith, I have picked up a lot of extraneous baggage along the way, including bad teaching, relational wounds, spiritual abuse, and a file cabinet full of wacky experiences.
A lot of us are schlepping bad baggage given to us by churches, denominations, or a toxic Christian teacher or two. In reaction, more and more people are deconstructing their faith, which may lead to renewal for some, and extinction of that faith for others. Many others soldier on, dragging that luggage behind them because they’ve always done it that way, and have no idea what their life would look like without it.
But we now live in a time of rapid change and realignment in the church. Whether we wish to do so or not, we are all being invited into the downsizing process.
Perhaps we once needed the spiritual equivalent of an institutional-style office space, complete with giant fax machine. Or maybe we just told ourselves we did, the office space a reflection of culture, ambition, or politics more than it was an actual necessity. In any case, if we are pursuing maturity in our journey with Jesus, we must be willing to sort through the stuff we’ve accumulated, and figure out what we really need to carry with us into our future and into the future of the church. God is inviting each one of us to downsize.
Downsizing isn’t always a pretty process. The day I watched a couple of dudes remove the barely-functional copier from the ministry office I was emptying, I wondered what it was like for the staff the day it was delivered years earlier. It must have been exciting for the staff to decide there was a need for a tool like that to help with the work of the ministry. It was used for a season, then mostly neglected for a longer one. The day I got rid of it, it was a giant beige albatross that leaked toner. My friends in the ministry were reminded through the process of downsizing that they weren’t being invited to maintain an institutional office, though the office was a useful tool for a season of time, but to serve the body of Christ.
Downsizing is not without precedent: Jesus instructed his disciples to travel light when he sent them into the world to minister in his name. As I’ve been working on my next book that explores the various streams and tributaries that have shaped Evangelicalism since the Jesus Movement of the late 1960’s, I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on my own journey through these years. It is amazing how much unnecessary stuff (metaphorically speaking) I’ve accumulated. The process of downsizing calls us to reflection, the work of forgiveness of both others and ourselves, and the willingness to follow Jesus into what’s next like a pilgrim...sans that old fax machine.
What do you think? Are you experiencing spiritual downsizing in your own life? In your church? What is most challenging about the process? What has surprised you so far?
Fill in the blank, April 2024 version
How would you fill in these blanks?
What I’ve been reading: _______
My answer: I recently finished Harrison Scott Key’s How To Stay Married, which despite the title, is a memoir and not a self-help book. The book is both hilarious and searing as he recounts his wife’s infidelity, his own failings, and the messy faith that frames his story.
What I’ve been eating : _______
My answer: A cavalcade of meals brought to our home by neighbors and friends after my recent knee replacement surgery. They didn’t coordinate their efforts, but each day for more than a week, people showed up at the front door bearing soups, entrees, a plate of brownies, and a DoorDash gift card. Every bit of it tasted like grace.
What I am a little bummed about this month: _______
My answer: Because of the aforementioned knee replacement surgery and the tough rehab I’m facing now, I won’t be able to attend either of the two faith + writing conferences that have been deeply meaningful to me. I haven’t missed a Festival of Faith and Writing, held every other year at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, MI, since 2006. (It had a hiatus during Covid, but is back this year.) And I was really looking forward to attending HopeWords Writers’ Conference in Bluefield, WV. I was sad because both excellent, soul-nourishing gatherings were scheduled for the same weekend. The only silver lining is that because of that scheduling, I will only have to deal with FOMO once this month.
What I am watching at 4 AM right now: _______
My answer: I discovered old Ed Sullivan reruns on a weird little cable channel. Watching it turns me into an armchair anthropologist as I reflect on 1960’s variety show pop culture: A song by The Mamas and The Papas might be followed by a dance number, an opera aria, and then an appearance by strange little rat puppet, Topo Gigio. If I happen to fall asleep while I’m watching, I have some very, very strange Peter Max-colored dreams.
Summer Reads For Downsizers
If you’re contemplating the subject of downsizing, three of my books touch on some of the issues you might be facing:
Born to Wander: Recovering the Value of Our Pilgrim Identity – Reframe the story of your spiritual journey.
Becoming Sage: Cultivating Meaning, Purpose, and Spirituality in Midlife – Explore the necessary transitions that can spur growth and maturity.
Translating Your Past: Finding Meaning in Family Ancestry, Genetic Clues, and Generational Trauma – Reflect on your family’s story in order to develop a vision for the future.
My prayer for all of us downsizers:
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)
Shalom.
I remember Topo Gigio! Hope your knee continues to heal as you do all your pulls and stretches. You can do this!
I look forward to your next book, Michelle.
This post is worth pondering. I like your setting the scene by purging ancient office stuff. I can identify. And then you liken our "schlepping bad baggage ..." to that. Yes, of course, I've ditched the big fax machine. But have I ditched the bad baggage from my spiritual journey? Do I even know what it is? I probably could cite most of it, but the bigger question is, Have I done what Jesus would have me do with it? Have I forgiven? Have I learned lessons I can apply now to glorify God? Your post is thought-provoking ~ thanks.